Responding to Crisis and Traumatic Events

Part 2 of the Collective Care, Wellbeing, and Healing for Educators and Caregivers series

To read Part 1 of this series, click here: The Power of Collaborative Conversations

Trigger Warning: This post mentions events that may be distressing to some readers, including a mass shooting, the police killing of George Floyd, and the September 11th attacks.

What do we say to the kids?

On February 13, 2023, a mass shooting occurred on the campus of Michigan State University (MSU) in East Lansing. Just a few days later, my TEDTalk, 3 steps to help kids process traumatic events, went live on ted.com. In the talk, I respond to the question "What do we say to the kids?" by outlining strategies to use in the aftermath of community crises or traumatic events. I’m originally from Michigan and have several friends and family members who still live there, including some cousins who attended MSU at the time (thankfully, they were safe). In chat threads with friends and family, there was discussion about how relevant and timely the topics in my talk were. While I’m glad that my ideas resonated with folks and were even able to provide some guidance about how to talk to their children or students about what had happened, it is also deeply saddening to witness just how often these strategies are necessary.

Despite complex feelings of sadness and anger that our children are so often faced with what I’ve termed “consciousness-shifting current events," I’ve also found much hope in learning how educators and caregivers lean into their own discomfort, embrace vulnerability, and engage with young people to support them in processing and healing. It was through my research with educators across the country that I identified the three steps I highlight in the talk: Restoring a sense of safety, engaging in heart work, and empowering action. These steps are simple and straightforward, but it doesn't mean they are easy to do. So I created a digital resource to provide teams or individual educators, or parents and caregivers, with a reflection and planning tool that can help determine how to approach these moments with children/students. The resource can be downloaded for free from my Teachers Pay Teachers store here. Or you can reach out to me via the contact form requesting the resource and I’ll send a link to your inbox.

Silence is Not an Option...Or is it?

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Do I have to say something?” In most cases, I would say yes. But there is nuance to this, of course. The morning after the George Floyd video was released, if I had showed up to my first Zoom ELA class of the day (it was spring of 2020 after all) and just started talking about the text we were studying without addressing the event that caused the protests happening around our city and country, I would have been ignoring my responsibility to attend to students' most basic needs. But by the last period, my students–in particular my students who were Black, had family members in law enforcement, or both–had engaged in conversations all day long and needed a break by escaping into the fictional world of our novel study. Deciding when and how to respond is context-dependent; making these calls requires educators to have a pulse on their classrooms and to have invested time and energy into cultivating positive relationships with students (more on this in a future blog topic).

When an event harms members of marginalized groups, the responsibility of educators to speak out becomes even greater. Silence in these situations does not signal neutrality; it serves as passive approval of the status quo and reinforces systemic oppression. As we learned from the disproportionate impact of the pandemic on Black, Latinx, and American Indian communities, even when we are all experiencing the same storm, we are not in the same boat. It is important to recognize how aspects of individual and group identities may impact how different folks experience the same event.

For parents, there is the option of trying to keep the news off and not share what happened with your child. That is easier with younger children who cannot read or engage with media independently, or who are unlikely to overhear conversations about it at school. But for older children, saying something–anything–can go a long way. A colleague of mine recently shared with me how confused and lost she felt when she returned home from 7th grade on September 11, 2001 with questions like "what is the Pentagon?" and "where are the Twin Towers?" and instead of having a conversation with her, they left for church without a word about what had happened. Parents don't need to have all the answers to offer something as simple as “something bad happened and here are a few basic details. I’m still figuring out how to process it myself, but we will make time to talk about it later.” This honesty can contribute to restoring a sense of security and calm amidst chaos and uncertainty.

I generally stand by the claim that in most cases, silence is not an option because it can leave young people feeling confused, isolated, and stuck in the yuck with fear and despair. However, I would be remiss not to mention that recent research has found that in extreme contexts, silence can serve as an emotional defense mechanism that is crucial for coping and resilience. The study looked at the experiences of medical professionals serving in conflict zones and recognized that silence as a choice, rather than as a trauma symptom, functions as a protective factor that allows first responders to carry out essential, often life-saving duties under extreme pressure. Notably, the study also points to the power of reflective journaling as a private outlet for processing and a powerful tool for emotional regulation. This research suggests that though conversation with others is not always a requirement for addressing community crises or traumatic events, some form of processing (even if only in dialogue with oneself through journaling) is essential for healing to be possible.

Whose Job Is It?

One final complicating factor that often paralyzes people in determining whether or how to address such topics is the question of whose job it is to have these conversations: educators or parents/caregivers. My answer: it’s all of us. I believe we owe it to young people to say something. And we owe it to them to establish systems for effective communication between school and home so that both educators and caregivers can tap into our collective resources as we seek healing and prioritize wellbeing. And ultimately so that young people feel the wrap-around supports of a community that is committed to doing our best for them.

The next post will be my final one for this series. In it, I'll go more into the idea of healing and suggest some ideas to help us rethink trauma as a whole. In the meantime, feel free to get involved with these suggestions:

1. Join us. Follow Knowledge Exchange Network on social media, subscribe to this blog at the bottom of this page, or add a comment to engage with others.

2. Go get my What Do We Say To The Kids? resource for free from my Teachers Pay Teachers store.

3. Download Learning for Justice's Let's Talk guide. This resource is for educators working to build their own competency facilitating classroom conversations about critical but challenging topics and can be accessed for free from their site.

Thanks for reading!