Rethinking Valentine’s Day: Focusing on Kindness, Inclusion, and Non-Romantic Love

Valentine’s Day often brings to mind heart-shaped candies, red roses, and romantic gestures, but for kids—especially those in elementary and middle school—the holiday doesn’t have to be about romance at all. Instead, it’s a great opportunity to teach kindness, inclusion, and different forms of love that extend beyond romantic relationships.

My toddler’s school is making Valentine’s Day a week-long celebration of fun, kindness, and community, and I love how they’re approaching it. They’ve planned a Valentine’s Spirit Week that is simple for me as a parent and fun and accessible for the little ones:

❤️ Monday: Cupid Colors – Wear red or pink outfits.

🧸 Tuesday: Cuddly Companion – Bring a stuffed animal to snuggle.

👾 Wednesday: Love Monsters – Dress as a monster to spread love and kindness, inspired by Rachel Bright’s book Love Monster.

😴 Thursday: Pajama Day – Cozy up in jammies and slippers.

✨ Friday: Dress to Impress – Fancy outfits encouraged! My kiddo will be wearing one of her traditional Vietnamese dresses from our recent Tết (Lunar New Year) celebration.

I love that they’re making Valentine’s Day a joyful and inclusive experience, where every child gets to participate in their own way. It’s a reminder that Valentine’s Day can be about so much more than romance, candy, and flowers.

💖 Why Shift the Focus?

For many students, Valentine’s Day can be stressful or exclusionary. Some may feel left out if they don’t receive cards or gifts, while others may struggle with the pressure of social dynamics. By broadening the conversation beyond romance, we can make Valentine’s Day more meaningful and accessible for all kids.

Instead of centering Valentine’s Day on romantic love, we can use it as an opportunity to:

✅ Encourage kindness and gratitude in friendships and peer relationships

✅ Celebrate different types of love, including familial love, self-love, and appreciation for community

✅ Promote inclusion by ensuring no child feels left out

💡 Ideas for Parents, Caregivers, & Educators

Here are some ways to create a positive, inclusive Valentine’s Day experience for kids:

✨ 1. Acts of Kindness Challenge

Encourage kids to complete a kindness challenge throughout the week. This could include small gestures like writing a thank-you note, helping a classmate or neighbor, or sharing a compliment.

✨ 2. Expand the Meaning of Valentine’s Day

Talk about how different cultures celebrate love and friendship. Some examples include:

💜 Finland & Estonia’s “Friendship Day” (Ystävänpäivä & Sõbrapäev)—where people celebrate friends rather than romantic partners

💜 Mexico’s Día del Amor y la Amistad (Day of Love and Friendship)—a day to celebrate both love and friendship. In schools, kids often write anonymous appreciation notes to classmates, making sure no one feels left out.

✨ 3. Creative Projects for the Classroom

Encourage students to express appreciation in creative ways:

🎨 Kindness Chain – Each student writes a kind action or positive message on a strip of paper, and they’re all linked together to form a chain that represents the class community.

💌 Valentines for All – Instead of individual valentines, create class-wide or school-wide displays where every student can contribute and feel included.

📚 Looking for a Classroom or Homeschool Resource?

To make it easier for educators to bring inclusivity and kindness into Valentine’s Day, I’ve created an Inclusive, Multi-Disciplinary Valentine’s Day Activity for Grades 5-8 on Teachers Pay Teachers!

This resource includes:

🔎 A mini-lesson on the history of Valentine’s Day in different cultures

🧠 A non-fiction text on the science of kindness

📖 CCSS & NGSS-aligned comprehension and analysis worksheets

🎨 Creative, community-building activities like a Kindness Chain and Valentines for All template

💡 Want to check it out? Find it on my Teachers Pay Teachers store! 

By shifting the focus of Valentine’s Day, we can ensure that every child feels valued, included, and appreciated. Let’s make this holiday about kindness, connection, and community. ❤️

Share your own ideas and favorite resources for alternative Valentine's Day celebrations in the comments below or on Instagram.