Small Steps, Big Impact: The Magic of Daily Routines & Rituals for Kids

Part 3 of the Littles and Middles series

To read the intro post for this series, click here: Introducing "Littles and Middles”: Parallels between Early Childhood and Early Adolescence

For Part 1, click here: Building Strong Relationships: The Heart of Healthy Development for Littles and Middles

For Part 2, click here: Empowering Autonomy: Skill-Building for Independence

Every single night, we go through the exact same steps in the exact same order with our daughter: bath, diaper and lotion, pajamas, milk, brush teeth, sleep sack, books, “You are my sunshine,” bed.

Each day when I was teaching middle school English language arts, we used the same daily routines: students checked in with the Question of the Day as they entered the classroom and then got to work on their classroom jobs; next came our read-aloud, writing workshop, reading workshop, word study, and independent reading.

Why the strict adherence to routines and rituals? Well, some might say it's because I’m a Virgo, and it’s definitely true that I like predictability and consistency more than most. But the truth is, these practices also benefit my kids (both the one I birthed and the ones I taught). The impact even small daily routines can make is something close to magical.

Why Routines and Rituals Matter

As much as toddlers can seem to us like unpredictable bundles of energy, they actually thrive on predictability. They find comfort in knowing what comes next. Routines help them feel safe and secure, providing cues to their brains and bodies to make transitions smoother. 

Adolescents are the same. They might think they’re too cool for routines and rituals, but deep down, they crave structure just as much. Routines give them a sense of control over their ever-changing lives and help them build good habits that will serve them well into adulthood. 

The Science Behind the Magic

If you’re an educator or caregiver, establishing routines with Littles or Middles aren’t just about keeping your sanity (though that’s a major perk). Research shows that consistent routines support cognitive, social, and emotional development in children. For Littles, routines help with language development, emotional regulation, and even better: sleep. For Middles, routines can reduce anxiety, improve academic performance, and strengthen family bonds.

And let’s not forget rituals—those special, meaningful practices that go beyond the day-to-day tasks and activities and provide a sense of “this is who we are.” By using rituals within the classroom, teachers can support development of students’ executive functioning skills and ability to delay gratification. Whether it’s a class dance party every Friday, a secret handshake with each student, or a class birthday tradition, rituals create a sense of belonging and identity for members of the classroom community. 

Rituals are even more important for families: they’re the glue that holds families together, provides comfort and connection through the ups and downs (especially for adolescents), and supports resilience-building and coping in family separations. With my toddler, our rituals are currently simple and mostly focused around times of reunion and parting (the first and last five minutes, which I wrote about here). As she gets older, we’ll co-create more rituals as a family to support her understanding of our family values and cultural heritage.

Tips for Making Routines and Rituals Work:

1. Start Small: You don’t need to overhaul your entire day. Begin with one routine, based on an area where your kid(s) struggle with the transition. For me as a mom, that was bedtime. For me as a teacher, it was the start of class, which is why I started using the Question of the Day routine.

2. Model and Practice: Whether they’re Littles or Middles, kids will need time to learn and practice the routine. All ages benefit from having the routines and expectations clearly laid out, and Littles especially benefit from visuals.

3. Be Flexible: Life happens, and sometimes routines go out the window. That’s okay! Remember, routines should serve you—not the other way around. Having a reliable wind-down routine for bedtime helped us successfully put our toddler to sleep in a tent for her first time camping a few weeks ago, despite not having our blackout curtains and sound machine!

4. Create Meaningful Rituals: Look for opportunities to create rituals that reflect your family’s (or classroom’s) values and interests. These don’t have to be elaborate—a simple “rose and thorn” discussion or weekly game night can have a powerful impact.

Routines and rituals can provide structure, stability, and a sense of security for both Littles and Middles, helping them build independence and navigate their worlds with confidence. Even better, they make it a tad easier for us–as parents, caregivers, and educators–to navigate the chaos and avoid becoming overwhelmed.

And speaking of chaos and overwhelm, stay tuned for our next post, where we’ll dive into the world of BIG FEELINGS for Littles and Middles. Be sure to follow Knowledge Exchange Network on social media and subscribe to this blog so you don't miss it!

Until then, here are some ways to put this learning into action:

1. Continue the conversation by commenting below or on our Instagram: What routines or rituals do you use with the Littles, Middles, or children of any age in your life? 

2. If you're an educator or caregiver of Littles, grab my free visual routines cards to help your daily transitions and tasks go more smoothly. 

3. If you are dealing more with Middles, include the kids in brainstorming routines and rituals that they would find helpful and meaningful and track how they are going. School staff and leaders can also explore how the school community as a whole can benefit from routines and rituals.